I’d like to note, before going any further that I am only reviewing this film as some sort of warning to history.

DON’T EVER DO THIS AGAIN

Anyway, on with the review.

This film sells itself as a Hoodie Horror-Thriller

I could try say something positive about this – like “it harkens back to Cronenberg’s haunting The Brood with it’s use of faceless hooded antagonists.” Or just something relating to a siege film.

I can’t.

Just because Peter Bradshaw of the Guardian gave this three stars and weakly tried to review it saying soft things like “it doesn’t quite hang together,” I will be now forced to find him and cut off part of his face.

This, I will stitch together with the facial portions of other critics who went easy on this film, creating my critic crime fighting leatherface mask. I will spend an inordinate amount of time in front of a camera, performing various types of closeups as I ghar-slobber-babble and jam my tongue through it’s crude mouthhole and lick stitch-segmented dry lips that are not my own.

It doesn’t work.

It is tense – briefly – then it falls apart and the ending will leave you so desperately furious that everything else will not matter.

Brief plotline synopsis: an abusive, totalitarian cunt of a teacher viciously belittles a teenager in front of a full class. The teenager has a mildly violent reaction to this and does not get reprimanded because, well, that teacher shouldn’t have humilated him.

Teacher becomes an alcoholic, loses family, gets sucked into a never quite explained paranoia about hoodied violent teenagers attacking teachers.

School is attacked by hoodie wearing teenagers whose hooded faces have been digitally blacked out so you can never see their face and are left wondering are they some sort of supernatural force of retribution against an education system that is clearly psychologically abusive and broken.

People die – mostly off screen.

Then it ends.

Nothing else.

It ends abruptly, just as it’s entering the third act.

Nothing else.

It just falls apart – makes no sense – then ends.

Of course, due to accidentally having watched this piece of wasted funding and drivel, I am left with only one recourse in life.

That is –

I must find the writer and director of this film, and fight them.

A good sort of fight, something like Rambo, with those cloth wrapped fists covered in glue you dip into broken glass. Except only I’m wearing them and the filmmakers are in fact tied to chairs.

Don’t watch this.

Or in fact, do watch this, then send in your reactions to our e-mail address and we’ll post them up here.

I warn you though, redemptionists – I’ll fight you too.