If you happen to be in Dublin – visiting or living.

If you happen to be one of the many with a Tea habit that needs continual porcelain rattling fixing.

If you happen to be one of my brothers and sisters that can barely move let alone speak without a steaming black cup of ambition.

Then you will need to know about Moynihan and Dent Coffee and Tea (M&D Coffee and Tea.)

It is situated in the George’s street Arcade – down near the Grogans end – in the middle there – you can’t miss it, it’s the one with all the coffee outside.
And what fantastic coffee!

Nine different types of bean.
Fresh roasted every week.

Mathematically difficult to exhaust combinations to blend.

If you drink coffee and live in Dublin or anywhere that can reach this small little purveyor of the black blood of the mind – this is where you should be buying your coffee.

I’ve drank most of the rank anxiety in a cup dreck they toss packet and machine about the city and I promise you, you won’t find better coffee in Dublin.

But this piece is about more than coffee and more than just a review – this is a plea and it centres around tea.

We all know times are tough and like that thirty year old who hangs around the playground – a bit slow. With all this stress I can forgive if you don’t know that you can get higher quality coffee at better prices at M & D Coffee and Tea.

Here’s the thing though, a small independent outlet, M & D Coffee and Tea needs your help. They need you to buy coffee, a goodly amount of coffee, around five hundred euros worth of coffee to be close to exact. They need you to do this so they can drag over a small slow times hiccup and restock their tea selection.

M & D restocking their splendid tea selection will not only offer you a myriad of superior quality loose teas; white teas, green teas, black teas and flavoured teas at great value.

It will – and this is the important part – prevent a lot of bloodshed and perhaps the end of days.

It is after all apocrypha in the book of Revelations “An’ verily when the M & D Jasmine tea of Dublin doth runneth dry dot dot dot”. It appears after the dot dot dot bit the original gnostic Monk tried to transcribe with earthly words an unholy gibbering – an ungodly pain – and the sudden jittery slaughter of many, many children by things with appendages science has yet to find name for. The prophecy comes back in after about four pages of this with the rather oblique caffeine scribbled line “…and thus you shall know the end of days…”

Thus it can only be said that in buying coffee and helping the resupply of tea at M & D Coffee and Tea, you will have a glorious hand in preventing the rapture. To those Christians eagerly awaiting the rapture and curious as to why we would want to prevent this – just how good have you been? Are you feeling that lucky?

This is plea from me and a small group of people who have used M & Ds tea as a sort of methadone for all the bad habits we fell into over the years. From the whiskey to the monkey adrenochrome to the pineal glands of dwarves and on over past more arcane things involving burritos and dolphins. The fine teas, the oolongs, Jasmines and many others, have served as worthy replacements to our vices and as strong barriers that abate our blind murderous lust.

To any who know or have paid attention to the writing on the Mountain – you will know tea and coffee are the pivotal synovial and cranial fluids through which we claw back the curtains of sleep and exist on this plane of reality.

You may have noted the steady degeneration of sanity in the pieces on the mountain – and thus will know, if you don’t go and buy coffee – we’re likely to find you, cut you make you bleed a bit.

And if gentle begging and or the threat of a biblical reckoning is not enough to coerce you to buy the sort of coffee they whisper about in ‘The Golden Bough’. Then please, consider these other words.

I’m pretty sure in the back of my Jasmine tea withdrawing mind, I heard the hallucination of a reader mumble something about a palace of tea in the Dublin area. Which of course is a good point – you could buy tea elsewhere. Over expensive tea from shop assistants that scuttle suspiciously after you in the shop like some sort of tea holding crab people. In an establishment that if it turned up in a Sherlock Holmes story, would be the front store for the worst sort of flesh trading working girl murdering aristocratic villain.

You could.

Or you could buy your tea and coffee from a small operation named Moynihan and Dent Coffee and Tea.

Just the name itself conjures up a hoary little back street operation that has survived decades of war with the East India Trading company and is not just the place where Holmes buys his tea but where Moriarty, Dr. Jekyll and Allan Quatermain buy theirs.
You can see it now – all wood and crates – there – behind the counter – amidst swirls of aromatic tobacco smoke and discarded Ferrero Rocher, a fob watch swinging in his hand – the acerbic witted, old expert proprietor can be found – deep within a book, ready to offer beverage advice or clues to whatever transpires about the city underworld or otherwise.

Go – Now – Help – Buy Coffee From M & D Coffee and Tea – Tell Them Messages From The Big Rock Candy Mountain Sent You. Be sure to say our name now, we have it on good authority there’s a free Ferrero Rocher in it for every customer who cites us