In an alternative within the multiverse of meatspace – Steve Guttenberg made it big and Tom Hanks lurched from The ‘Burbs to having a surprise hit with Forest Gump.

At first there were murmurs – whispers about a new horror comedy.

Then a trailer arrived offering tales of promise, whispers of gore and the faint impression that this may well be very, very funny.

A woman gets murdered. Her husband seeks the killer.

There is nothing more I can say about this film that will not lessen some of it’s affect.

Imagine if you will, that the pseudo-documentary horror-thriller sub-genre was having a party.

This is not Hollywood blockbuster standard – this isn’t even BBC quality. This feels like a high quality television series, spliced into one movie. Plastic, filled with nobodies, overly bright, with TV movie cinematography, this is a waste of a breath of a film.

Some movies are gloriously bad.

This is not one of them.

An English Independent movie – this film tries the jig of trying to be something like Bronson. A something else.

This film sells itself as a Hoodie Horror-Thriller

I could try say something positive about this – like “it harkens back to Cronenberg’s haunting The Brood with it’s use of faceless hooded antagonists.” Or just something relating to a siege film.

Sitting here with the memory of an erection in my hand, I disappear further and further until what’s happening on the screen is a distant thing of colour and light. I’m supposed to be trying to review the amateur section on www.Stileproject.com. But the shapes move and drift now and I’m not sure I’m anywhere to be seen.

In early 70’s horror there was a great alternative to Hammer’s endless parade of fainting aristo-ladies, somewhat camp Transylvanian counts and Peter Cushings permanently worried expression. Over in Spain director Amando De Ossorio had began a run of films that were and still are totally unique to the genre.

‘Get him to the Greek’ is a continuation of the story of a secondary character from the comedy ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’. While the billing says one of its main stars is some fat guy (Jonah Hill). In reality this movie just stars; Russell Brand, Sean Combs and Colin Meanie, all supported by some fat guy.

“Do you have the crazy?

Okay, I’m not going to lie.

I downloaded this little gem illegally.

But..

My downloading it, has led to quite a bit of good.

Jia Zhang Ke’s 2006 film ‘Sanxia Haoren’ (English title ‘Still Life’) opened events for Dublin’s Chinese New Year celebrations. The sleeper winner of the Golden Lion Award for Best Film at the Venice Film Festival that year, it is a film that deserved more than the limited release it received.

The revenge movie, in its proper subgenre setting of harrowing gritty violence, I had thought to be a thing dead. Consigned to the video nasties of the 70s and 80s. Though briefly and occasionally resurrected for some brief gasps during the 90s. Gone were the days when you could find a movie about a man or woman who had just been pushed too far. Where there was no A-team like arsenal or some insane Seagal Hollywood-ed up ninja doing mental things with pressure points. Rather instead; some crazy fucker with a sock full of quarters beating people to death or a guy with a supped up blowtorch burning people for their crimes.