“There is nothing wrong with your television.

Do not attempt to adjust the picture

We are now controlling the transmission

We control the horizontal

And the vertical

We can deluge you with a thousand images

Or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond

We can shape your vision to anything our party can conceive.

For the next sixteen days we will control all that you see and hear.

You are about to experience the awe and mystery that reaches from the deepest totalitarian regime to the rest of the world

Please stand-by…

- Modified opening speech from ‘The New Outer Limits’

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The Amy Winehouse Paradox

August 19th, 2008

Considering how much I hate celebrity, it really is odd to find myself writing this. I’m aware that just by writing this, I’m paying into something horrible that is working akin to a nation wide ‘Wicker Man’, painfully aware. Yet I find myself forced, if only because, out of sheer curiosity, I clicked the comments on an article the Daily Mail website about Amy Winehouse.

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The Problem of Smell

August 11th, 2008

Apparently my nose has gone rogue.

Apparently it always has been doing a little bit of freelancing on the side.

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Today, I’m going to destroy the Internet.

Today.

That’s all the cursor was flashing beside when I woke up.

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Well the first thing I want to say is; Democracy my ass.

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My Good Doctor – the naughtiest Panda,

Written in parts when and where I could – bare with the scrawl.

So aye…

Onward – good Christian soldier chainsaw.

So, I’m in Krakow.

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Untitled

April 24th, 2008

Every couple of months.

Now and then.

On whim – or when the addiction scratches through – from my brain to my belly.

I kill someone.

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Chinese New Year Dublin #4

March 15th, 2008

On the 6th of February I arrived late to the Irish Writers Centre in the fear that I’d missed the fortune cookies. The event in question was a night of Chinese and Irish literature and traditional music from both countries. Wandering through the crowd with the only recognizable face being that of Mr. Hayden (one of the organizers), I began to pass an increasing amount of empty food plates and glasses. Worried I’d arrived too late and would now be forced to wait in a graveyard of free food and drink, my heart began to sink. That was, until a guest moved to the table and took a previously thought empty bottle and poured himself a glass.

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Chinese New Year Dublin #3

March 4th, 2008

The Chinese New Year celebrations in Dublin began on Friday the 1st of February in the Irish Film Institute with a small ceremony and a screening of Jia Zhang Ke’s ‘Still Life’ (Sanxia Haoren).

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Chinese New Year Dublin #2

February 5th, 2008

No Irish
No Blacks

No Dogs

Before writing about the Chinese New Year celebrations in Ireland and cultural dialogue, I need to get a couple of things straight. I’m Irish; I live in Dublin and while many of the messages I send from the Big Rock Candy Mountain reference Ireland or have a distinctly Irish hue. Mine is not the only voice here. We have Finns, Swedes, Dutch, Australians and French writing, Canadians, Americans and English editing, and we hope to add to that.

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Hey there,
I’m a bigot.

How you doing?

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“Dub a dub a dum dum”

So, annual present giving day rolls by again.

Writing about Christmas while in Ireland has the sensation that you’re writing from a fallout bunker several miles below sea level. I’m not Christian; I’m long past the years where I’d sold my soul to Santa for toys. I don’t celebrate it bar to begrudgingly give presents back to the few close family who give me gifts.

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We Leave At Dawn

December 17th, 2007

Welcome to the Mountain.



Because you would not come to us, we have come to you

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Regrets, I’ve had a few.

December 15th, 2007

Regrets, I’ve had a few.

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As I sat sadly by her side

December 15th, 2007

When writing on subjects like this, there seems to be a tendency to jump back and forth from foot to foot, people wringing their hands as they try and decide how to tackle something of such sensitivity.

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